


He Lives on TV

by School_Of_The_Cat



Category: Devilman (Anime & Manga)
Genre: Akira's battling gay thoughts, Blow Jobs, Crying During Sex, Emotional Hurt/Comfort, Explicit Language, First Kiss, First Time Blow Jobs, Hand Jobs, M/M, Mild Sexual Content, NSFW in later chapters, Rutting, Slow Burn, not quite sure where I wanna go w this yet, pop idol!au, ryo is just a human in this one, so is akira
Language: English
Status: In-Progress
Published: 2020-07-05
Updated: 2020-08-14
Packaged: 2021-03-04 19:54:19
Rating: Not Rated
Warnings: Creator Chose Not To Use Archive Warnings
Chapters: 7
Words: 8,348
Publisher: archiveofourown.org
Story URL: https://archiveofourown.org/works/25091935
Author URL: https://archiveofourown.org/users/School_Of_The_Cat/pseuds/School_Of_The_Cat
Summary: Akira Fudo was friends with a pop idol. After nearly five years being apart, Ryo is reunited with Akira after his music career skyrockets- and long-forgotten feelings blossom again between the old friends.
Relationships: Asuka Ryo | Satan/Fudo Akira
Comments: 18
Kudos: 126





	1. Hey it's Ryo

Akira Fudo was friends with a pop idol.

This was one of the more interesting facts about him; one which he enjoyed telling people, as there really weren’t many who could say the same. However, Akira had grown up with one of the most popular pop idols in Japan- Ryo Asuka.

He wasn’t at all like we appeared on TV, which was something that most people wouldn't have considered. In interviews and public appearances, he always looked so outgoing and approachable; his attitude was upbeat and usually coupled with a casual smile on his face, jewellery flashing beneath the stage lights. 

But Akira knew better. The Ryo he knew was very withdrawn, almost apprehensive in character. He tended to be selfish, as well had an over-inflated ego, and when they were younger used to turn his nose up at the other children. He wasn’t very well-liked at all back then, in fact- something that you could never guess from the way he glowed in front of a crowd now. The one attribute that remained true from both his stage persona and real self was his incredible motivation. Akira remembered sitting in that daycare classroom with him, and while he scribbled with crayons he listened to Ryo telling him how, one day, he’d be the most famous person in all of Japan. 

It wasn’t quite raining that day, but the sky was humid and dark, and Akira fiddled restlessly with the clasp of his umbrella as he stood under the veranda on the school’s front entrance. He peered up at the sky occasionally as the clouds gathered overhead. From behind him, a girl his age caught up to where he was standing, opening up her own umbrella.

“Hey, you didn’t have to wait for me, Akira.” Miki stepped out from underneath the veranda and offered him an apologetic smile.

“I felt bad walking home without you,” Akira replied, mimicking her and opening up his own umbrella, stepping out to stand beside her. 

The two walked together comfortably as the rain started to fall across the darkening neighbourhood streets. It was quiet as lights started to come on inside houses, families gathering for meals or to greet each other after the long day. The rain started to pick up as the sun dipped behind the horizon, orange and red slanting along the roofs and faces of passing pedestrians. Miki was idly chatting about track and math tests as they reached the crosswalk in front of their house, but then stopped short as they noticed the crowd that was gathering along the sidewalk.

“That’s weird, I wonder what’s going on?”

The crowd was gathered around a stopped car, some snapping pictures and others chatting excitedly to one another. Akira felt his pulse quicken. Instinctually he began pushing through the crowd. Before Miki could stop him he had forced his way through to the centre where the white car was stopped. His breath hitched. Stood in front of the car, next to two bodyguards dressed in all black was a man who looked straight out of a magazine; he wore only spotless white which matched his pale skin and hair. In a moment he recognized him, and their gaze met.

“Ryo…?”

The figure’s eyes went round, bright blue pinpoints cutting through the rain that fell between them. Then, very slowly, he smiled, pink lips curling upwards before he held his arms open. The crowd seemed to quiet suddenly, or maybe Akira had let their ambience fall away as he moved forward, drawn to the creature that stood inches from him. Ryo wrapped his arms around his neck, his coat shifting against Akira’s shoulders. 

“I’ve missed you.”  



	2. Ryo Always Breaks The Rules

“I barely recognized you standing in that crowd,” Ryo fidgeted with the cheap wooden chopsticks between his fingers. “You look so different now, I mean. Taller.”

They had stopped at a nearby ramen stall that was still open in the park near Akira’s house. Ryo had insisted, saying he hadn’t eaten anything all day, and that he was dying to catch up. He had large black sunglasses obscuring his blue eyes, and he kept pulling his coat collar up around his face in a vain attempt to avoid attracting attention to himself. The two sat in awkward silence, Ryo fidgeting before he leaned against the counter and called the owner over to bring them a bottle of sake. 

“Of course I look different, the last time we saw each other I was thirteen.” 

Akira felt Ryo’s eyes on him from the corner of his glasses as he lifted the alcohol to his lips. It wasn’t fair that he looked so different now, and yet Ryo looked just the same as always. His almond-shaped eyes and thin face contrasted harshly with Akira’s angular chin and dark skin. 

“Why _are_ you here, anyway?” Akira asked, drawing the Ryo's attention again.

“I had a show nearby, and I wanted to visit my home-town.” He took another tentative sip. 

“Hey, we’re minors you know?” Akira gestured to the drink.

Ryo released a breathy laugh. “In my world that hardly matters.”

That rebellious attitude was just the same from when they were kids. Ryo always broke the rules, whether it was colouring outside the lines or picking up a soccer ball with his hands mid-game. Whenever anyone would get angry, he always just responded with that same, carefree laugh. 

“Ryo, why do you always break the rules?” Akira had asked him one day during recess. They had been chasing a frog around the courtyard all afternoon, and now they both lay under a leafy plum tree, which was just starting to bloom.

“Rules are meant to be broken Akira, that’s how you make your mark on the world.”

“To become a star you mean? So to become a star you have to break the rules?”

“Not always,” Ryo reached up to pick a plum from a low-hanging branch, “but all the most interesting ones do. I have no intention of living my life as a boring person.” Biting into the plum he closed his eyes to enjoy the sweetness, before reaching down to give Akira a bite.

Nobody had really believed Ryo would become anything until the day he did. Akira remembered vividly when Ryo slowly stopped showing up to school. He had asked another classmate what had happened, but nobody really knew. Of course, that was until they started seeing him on TV.  He started off as a child actor playing in minor roles, but then quickly moved into music and musical theatre. Soon the only time Akira saw his friend from behind a screen, that phoney smile glued to his face. 

They were 13 when Ryo joined his first boy band group. It felt surreal, seeing the girls in Akira's class taping posters of Ryo’s face up in their lockers and playing his music aloud off their laptops and cellphones during breaks. After joining his first group, Ryo’s fame only grew, and he moved from one idol band to another. Knowing him, Akira could guess the reason was that he was inevitably pushed out by the other members for his intolerable personality. _They’re jealous because I’m always the star of the show_ , Akira could imagine him saying. And he was; Ryo lit up the stage, his dance moves electrifying and singing hypnotic. 

“You’re awful quiet.” Ryo’s voice pulled Akira back to the present.

The bottle of sake was more than half empty now, and Ryo’s eyelids had grown heavy and his face flushed. 

“Ah. Um, I should be getting back now, it’s gotten pretty late.”

Ryo rolled his eyes, but when he stood to pay the ramen vendor his knees buckled. Akira swooped down to catch him, his height and sturdy frame providing a place for the lush to cling onto. After apologizing to the vendor and tipping him generously, he looped Ryo’s arm around his broad shoulders and began helping him back towards where his car had been parked earlier. 

“Stop, this is embarrassing,” Ryo mumbled into the collar of his jacket as he leaned against Akira in the dark.

“Well, you shouldn’t have drank so much, dumbass.”

“What was I supposed to do? You were acting all distant and prickly, I was worried you hated me or something.”

Akira stopped walking to face him.

“Hated you?”

“Nevermind, it’s stupid. Take me back to my car.” 

Ryo adjusted his sunglasses and Akira took a second more to shoot him a worried look before they continued to stumble across the park towards the car.

“Do you have a place to stay tonight?” 

“Yeah, a hotel in the city.”

"Oh."

He couldn’t help but feel a little disappointed. Then again, what did he think was going to happen? He couldn’t very well drag a drunk pop star back to the Makimuras’ place without warning. Still, he felt a growing sense of dread as they reached Ryo’s car. He felt like if he let him go, he would just slip away silently in the night and not be heard from again, just like when they were kids. Opening the passenger door for him, Akira gripped the collar of Ryo’s coat.

“Stay for a little while, after your show. Don’t just disappear again.”

Ryo stopped, sliding his sunglasses off the bridge of his nose.

“It’s not always up to me.”

“You’re the star, aren’t you? Who is it up to, if not you?”

He hesitated, thinking over Akira’s suggestion. Then a small smile crept onto his lips.

“Alright, I’ll stay.”

"Promise me, Ryo."

"Yeah. I promise."

He turned to step into the car, but before he did gave Akira another hug, his cold hands grazing the back of Akira's neck. Then he climbed into the passenger’s seat and drove away. Akira stood watching, until the headlights on Ryo's car were tiny pinpricks, swallowed up by the night.


	3. and Akira Went to School and Ryo Signed Some Paperwork

That night Akira slept restlessly. His dreams flit vaguely between a well-lit stage and screaming mob to lewd images of pale thighs pinning him to the bed. A dubious laugher paralyzed him, and he ran his hands through a tuft of blonde hair. Their bodies collided, though he never saw their face, and he revelled in the warmth of a stranger’s skin. He saw blue eyes flashing in the dark as swells of pleasure rolled over him, and suddenly he was gripping the thin waist that hovered above him, anxiety building in his gut. 

He awoke with a gasp. His room was quiet and dimly lit as morning had just barely broken, and as he rolled over he noticed that his sheets were drenched with sweat beneath him. He groaned, rolling out of bed and stripping the soiled fabric from the mattress, tossing it into his laundry basket along with his stained boxers. What a way to start the day. 

Ryo, on the other hand, had slept like a baby and awoke in the morning with a blistering hangover. As he made himself coffee, he slowly tried to piece together the events of last night, praying to _God_ he hadn't embarrassed himself too badly. As his memory returned, he paused, remembering Akira’s parting words; a plea for him to stay. He chewed at his lip as the coffee maker burbled into the silent, pristine hotel room.

* * *

Akira’s routine consisted of school during the day and a track meet in the evening, where he joined up with Miki and Miko on the large field behind the school building. All three of them were seniors in high school now, and as the cicada cries indicated the approach of summer vacation, the three liked to sit around the field and talk about different things as they cooled down from practice. The topic of discussion shifted suddenly as Miki turned to ask Akira about the other night.

“You just ran off with that shady looking guy suddenly, what was that about?” She held her water-bottle against her forehead in an attempt to cool off. 

“What happened?” Miko perked up, now suddenly invested in the conversation again.

“There was this weird car by our house yesterday,” Miki explained, “A bunch of people had gathered around it and out stepped some _pop star_ guy. I think I’ve seen him on TV before.”

“Oh, right! I heard from the girls in our PE class saying that Ryo the pop idol was in town last night.”

“Anyways,” Miki continued, “He like, went up and hugged Akira as soon as he saw him! Then they went out for ramen or something afterwards! It was seriously weird!”

The girls turned towards Akira for an explanation. He tugged at the hair on the back of his neck awkwardly, avoiding their eager gazes. 

“It’s not that strange Miki, we were childhood friends. I hadn’t seen him in years though, so it was a bit of a shock meeting up with him again like that.”

“It was sweet,” Miki continued, turning back to Miko, “Akira never hugs anyone like that, but they seemed so close. I’m happy for you, Akira.”

Akira blushed, feeling suddenly embarrassed. 

“H-hey! What’s that supposed to mean, huh?”

* * *

Ryo’s day looked entirely different from that of his track-student counterpart. After he got up and made coffee, his manager arrived at his hotel room, immediately thrusting contract papers into his hands and animatedly explaining what the photoshoot he was going to today would entail. He looked over the papers disinterestedly as he nursed a pounding headache. 

“Jenny, would you slow down? You’re making my head spin.” 

His red-head stopped waving her arms and sat down next to him at the table. She snatched the papers back from his hands, now re-examining them herself for the third time that morning. 

“This could be another big breakthrough for your career, Ryo. You’re an adult now, so I think it’s only natural you begin to move into more adult content.”

Ryo hummed into his coffee, mulling over the idea in his mind.

“But I’m a pop idol, a singer- I always have been. Don’t you think my fans will be too shocked by this decision?”

“Nude modelling is nothing so crazy,” Jenny continued, “lots of stars do it. Besides, the last thing you want is for your career to go stagnant. People get tired of the teeny-bop act, Ryo. This could be a good chance to step out of your box. Besides,” she shuffled through the stack of papers, “it’s not like they’ll be releasing the full images; it says right here all the photographs will be censored once they’re published. We’re not making porn here after-all. And you have such a nice body! It’s a shame you hide it under all those clothes!” 

Ryo groaned and rolled his eyes. 

“No wonder your nickname in the industry is ‘psycho Jenny’. You really don’t know your limits, do you?”

His manager just laughed.

“Alright, if you think it's the right decision, then I'll do it,” Ryo said after a while, getting up from the table to empty the remainder of his mug into the sink. 

It was only a little after 8:00 in the morning and Ryo was whizzing down the road in the passenger’s seat of his car. His photo session ended at 11:30, but by then he was already moving onto auditions for a new tv drama. As the day dragged on, he couldn’t help but wonder when he could see Akira again.

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> hnnghhh sorry for all the exposition I wanna build up the lore yk


	4. Ryo Buys Akira a Bike, Isn't he a Nice Guy?

As Akira walked home with Miki that evening, he was quite surprised to find a motorcycle parked in the driveway of the Makimuras’ household. The black metal glinted impressively, and tied to one of the handlebars was a note containing a hotel address, time and room number.

“Akira, you’re really not gonna acknowledge how weird this is?” Miki spoke up, circling around the vehicle, eyes wide. “Who would just leave a bike here like that…?”

“I think it’s from Ryo,” Akira replied, finding the bike’s keys hidden underneath its leather cushion.

“What? You think he just… bought a bike for you and _left_ it here?”

“It sounds like something he’d do,” Akira mumbled, turning the key in the ignition. The bike roared to life, its headlights illuminating the street ahead. Without thinking, Akira hoisted himself up onto the seat, gripping the handlebars and earning a low hum from the engine.

“Hey Miki, tell your mom I won’t be back until late, ok?”

Miki opened her mouth to protest, but Akira was already pealing out of the driveway and down the road.

“What the hell, I want a bike too!” She grumbled as she watched the headlights speed away from her towards the horizon.

* * *

Akira felt utterly breathless as he flew down the road, the wind whipping at his hair and clothes. He gripped the handlebars leaning forward, speeding down the highway as his eyes occasionally glanced down at the address on the card in his hand. He knew the bike must’ve been from Ryo; he was never subtle about things. He must have wanted to see him, after all, they hadn’t had time to meet since Akira had begged him to stay. His heart clenched in his ribs as the memory of Ryo resurfaced in his mind, his eyelids heavy and face red from the intoxication.

The city was alight with activity as Akira pulled into the hotel parking lot. One by one the neon lights had started to come on around him, reflecting in fractured rainbows off the tempered metal finish of his bike. He parked, admiring the impressive vehicle one more time before turning and entering into the luxurious hotel lobby. Avoiding the woman at the front desk, he climbed into the elevator, the metal whirring quietly as it pulled him higher up the building. His heartbeat quickened as he watched the floor numbers flash by. Finally, he reached the penthouse suite on the top floor, the elevator doors opening to reveal a lush interior.

The suite was classy with a modernist design, the furniture sparse, but expertly placed, all-white leather and fabrics, the walls glass windows which looked down onto the city below. In the middle of the room a fireplace crackled, and across from it on top of a large white leather lounge sprawled Ryo, eyes shut and holding a glass of champagne. He was still wearing a bathrobe, his hair damp from his shower. Akira chuckled to himself as he watched Ryo sleep peacefully, his eyes moving occasionally behind his pale eyelids, white eyelashes pressed shut against his cheeks. As he moved to pry the half-empty glass from his hand, he jostled Ryo awake as he moved to unwrap his fingers from the delicate glass stem. He blinked the drowsiness from his eyes before he recognized Akira, his face breaking out into a smile.

“Took you long enough, dumbass. I fell asleep waiting for you.”

Akira scratched the back of his neck awkwardly. “Sorry, I had a track meet. Thank you for the present, by the way.”

Ryo waved his hand dismissively. “It was nothing. I hardly get a chance to leave this damn room, so I figured you might as well come to me, it’s easier that way. Do you like the colour?”

“Yeah, it’s perfect.”

The two were quiet for a moment before Ryo’s eyes fell, his fingers fiddling with the ends of the ties to his bathrobe. Gently, he sheepishly leaned forward to rest his damp hair against Akira’s chest.

Akira and Ryo could have an entire conversation without either saying a word. “ _I missed you_ ,” was what Akira heard as Ryo lazily tucked his arms around his back into a gentle embrace. “ _I missed you too_ ,” Akira replied, as he pulled him to his feet, their chests flush against each other. He could feel Ryo’s body heat through his robe, still so warm after his shower.

He knew he liked his showers scalding hot, as if he’d jumped right out of hell itself. He used to tease him about it when they were kids when they would bathe together, and he would complain that the water was always too cold.

He noticed Ryo’s hair smelled lightly of floral-scented shampoo, the fireplace crackling gently in the background as the two quietly held each other, their breathing relaxed and slow. After a moment Ryo pulled his head away from Akira’s chest, his eyes still looking drowsy.

“Hey, you look tired.” Akira offered, observing the dark circles gathering underneath his blue eyes.

Ryo responded with a weary smile. “I am. I’ve been at auditions all day.”

“Auditions? Like, for acting gigs? But I thought you were a musician?”

Ryo sighed, brushing his hair off his forehead. “Times change, Akira. I’m an adult now, so I need to broaden my horizons if I want to keep my success. I don’t want to become a one-trick pony.”

“But you love music. Is this really what you want, or is it what your agent wants for you?”

“What I want,” Ryo sat back on his knees, facing Akira on the couch, “Is to be the most famous man in Japan. If this is what I need to do to achieve that, then I will.”

Akira saw the determination in Ryo’s eyes and immediately backed down. If it’s what he wanted, then he wasn’t about to get in between Ryo and his dream. He sat with a stern expression for a bit before Ryo laughed.

“You don’t have to look so concerned about it, it’s not like it’s your life or anything.”

“yeah but,” Akira started to protest before he stopped himself. Ryo was right, it wasn’t really any of his business.

“Don’t look so down, come on. Let’s watch a movie or something, it’s been ages since we’ve properly hung out together like this.”

Ryo shifted on the couch to grab his phone. Using the little handheld device he dimmed the lights in the suite and turned on the TV, flipping to a random movie. Akira immediately started complaining about plot-holes and how annoying the female character was, but Ryo just laughed lightheartedly. It felt like they were kids again.

As the movie reached a slow point, however, Akira felt a warm weight pressed against his arm. Ryo had drifted to sleep again, his head resting against Akira’s shoulder as his chest gently rose and fell. Akira felt suddenly self-conscious, trying to sit as still as he could so that he wouldn’t wake him. His eyes drifted from the screen down to the sleeping figure next to him, the sounds of the movie fading into the background as his attention drifted.

Ryo’s bathrobe had ridden up on one side, exposing one of his pale, soft legs to the open air. Akira swallowed, eyes fixed on the soft flesh of Ryo’s thigh. He started to feel dizzy, his heart beating wildly behind his ribs.

_Why can't I look away? Was something wrong with me?_

Ryo groaned in his sleep, shifting so that his bathrobe slipped off one of his shoulders. Akira felt panicked now, seeing so much exposed skin. A bead of water dripped off the tip of Ryo’s hair, rolling across his neck and chest. Akira swallowed, staring shamelessly down at Ryo’s bare chest, the tissue suddenly looking so soft and pink. His head was spinning as his eyes landed on a pink bud poking out from beneath the fabric of the bathrobe.

“N-nipple…” He muttered to himself without thinking, head growing foggy from Ryo’s body heat. Ryo stirred again and Akira slapped a hand over his mouth, face burning with embarrassment. _What the hell is wrong with me? Am I a fucking child?_

Feeling ashamed, he readjusted Ryo’s robe to cover him up properly, carrying him over to the large plush bed on the other side of the suite. He submerged the sleeping figure beneath the covers, before leaving the hotel room in a hurry. Ryo was surprised to find himself alone the next morning. 

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> Akira's battling those gay thoughts pls pray for him. Also!! I've gotten a lot of feedback on this work and I'm so glad y'all are enjoying it! If any of you have any suggestions for future chapters, pls let me know! I'm also thinking of getting more NSFW with this one, is that something yall would like to see??


	5. Akira Visits Ryo at Work

The week was a blur and before he knew it, Akira found himself awoken Saturday morning by the sound of his phone buzzing from his bedside table. Groaning, he rolled over and clumsily felt for it, eyes still heavy from drowsiness. He slid his thumb across the lock screen and answered, yawning dramatically as Ryo’s voice came out through the other end, slightly compressed.

“Will you come with me to my shoot today? I’m nervous about it.”

“That’s unlike you,” Akira replied, still rubbing the sleep from his eyes.

Ryo had continued on like nothing had happened after Akira had fled from his hotel room a few days ago. He, of course, never found out the _real_ reason as to why Akira had left in such a hurry, (his excuse was that his stomach had been upset), but Akira could still vividly remember the way his insides had twisted when he had looked down at Ryo sleeping beside him. He remembered the way something coiled, deep and hot in his gut. He swallowed.

“Hey, so are you coming or not? I’ll just get one of my groupies to come if you aren’t,” Ryo’s voice cut through the silence, breaking Akira’s racing train of thought.

“Y-yeah, I’ll be there,” he stammered, before quickly hanging up the phone.

* * *

When the elevator doors finally opened into Ryo’s hotel room, Akira was surprised to see the fashionable space had been completely converted into a photo studio. There were large draping sheets of white fabric suspended by metal poles blocking the floor-to-ceiling windows, and huge, industrial spotlights illuminating a bed in the centre of the room. People were bustling around the apartment, some with headsets and heavy looking lights and camera equipment, others in suits talking quietly to one another while holding clipboards. Ryo was nowhere to be seen.

Akira froze admits the chaos, unsure if he should just turn around and leave.

“Akira, right?” A tall woman with red hair and a crazed looking smile stepped out from the buzzing of camera crew to grab Akira’s arm, making him jump.

“Ryo said he was expecting a friend to be joining him on set for support, so that must be you, right? Come have a seat over here please.”

Akira, struck mute, was led by the arm over to an armchair arranged just beside the set. He sat there fidgeting for a while until the crew around him went quiet, Ryo stepping out from the bathroom, wearing a bathrobe again. The crew then clapped politely as he glided across the room to the bed bathed under the studio lights. He scanned the faces behind the cameras for a second, squinting until his eyes met Akira’s and his stern expression gave way to a gentle smile. Akira’s heart stopped for a moment- _were Ryo’s eyes always this blue?_

Suddenly one of the men behind the camera started speaking to him, and Ryo’s gaze wandered away, now focused on the instructions being given. Akira still stared on though, greedily drinking in the sight of Ryo’s pale face after just a few days apart. His white hair glowed under the spotlights leaving Akira feeling utterly entranced. A few more instructions were given by the photographer, and Akira watched in awe as Ryo began to undress, carelessly tossing the bathrobe to the floor beside the bed and gathering the filmy sheets around his naked skin. Akira felt his heart pounding in his ears.

_Since when did Ryo do these kinds of shoots? Is that why he said he was nervous this morning?_

The man behind the camera continued giving instructions, and Ryo arranged his limbs accordingly. He was laying across the bed on his side, the sheets gathered loosely between his legs as he arched his back, lips parted and eyes hungry. The flashbulbs from the camera made stars dance behind Akira’s eyes but in that moment he didn’t care, he was utterly transfixed by the sight laid before him. Ryo moved silently into a handful of other equally lewd poses, each time his eyes half-lidded in simulated ecstasy. For a brief moment, his gaze flicked up to meet Akira’s, locking eyes with him as he subtly arched his back further into the white sheets beneath him. Akira felt his stomach coil, something hard pressing against his leg with growing urgency. He shuffled quietly away to the bathroom just in time before the shoot ended, shame pounding in his ears as he willed away his painful erection while sitting against the white tiled bathroom floor.

He stayed there for a long time, just listening to the sound of his ragged breathing and of the quiet ambience the crew made outside. He heard someone shout “that’s a wrap!” And people started to clap before the metallic clinking and shifting of the equipment signalled they were packing up again. After a long while, he heard the last of the crew trickle out of the apartment, and a gentle knock at the bathroom door finally broke him out of his panicked trance. He could see Ryo’s toes through the crack at the bottom of the door. His voice sounded smooth and relaxing against Akira’s ringing ears.

“Akira? Are you alright?”

He slowed his breathing, finally feeling composed enough to stand up again before responding,

“Yeah, just my stomach again. I must’ve caught a bug or something.” He sheepishly opened the door to find Ryo fully dressed, giving him a concerned look. He looked his friend up and down before speaking again.

“God, you look terrible.”

Akira laughed insincerely before pushing past him, “I said I’m fine, don’t worry.”

Ryo appeared behind him and pushed him down onto the couch with a mixture of anger and concern. “You look feverish. Hold on, I’ll get you something to drink.”

He left only to return with a damp cloth and some water. He pressed the cloth to Akira’s forehead as he fussed about not needing him to take care of him. Eventually, Akira gave in, suddenly tired now that his panic attack was finally over. The two were quiet as Ryo continued to press the cool cloth to his forehead.

“Hey, Ryo?”

“Hm?”

“Do you ever… well, do you ever feel afraid?”

Ryo smiled, “Afraid of what?”

“I dunno,” Akira kept his eyes fixed on the floor as he talked. “Just that sometimes I scare myself. I have… urges.”

“I would hope so, you’re a teenager.”

“N-not like that! Well… I don’t know, it's just that ever since you’ve been back, I haven’t really felt like myself at all.”

Ryo dropped the cloth from Akira’s forehead, meeting his eyes. His face was dark, yet unreadable, an expression not dissimilar to that of a marble statue. His white eyelashes obscured his pupils, and his lips were slightly parted.

“I know what you mean.”

“You do?” Akira found it shocking that Ryo could be anything other than resolute at all times.

He had his flaws, of course, but Ryo always seemed so sure of himself. But this Ryo before him looked strangely indecisive, his cold expression giving way to a more unsure one.

“Ever since I’ve been back, I keep finding myself caught between the past and the present. I have an insatiable drive to move forward, make progress and reach new heights of my career. But…”

“But?”

“But something’s holding me back. Every time I see you I'm reminded of my past, those humble roots I sprouted from. Part of me wants to run back to that time.”

Akira watched the blue of his eyes as he spoke, the way the light moved through their clear bright fibres, how the pupils constricted and contracted with each word or new thought. They were the same eyes that defined his youth- that had defined his life, despite him realizing it. He was suddenly overcome with the urge to kiss him.

“Ah, sorry, you weren’t listening. I shouldn’t be rambling. Of course, I’ll continue moving forward, even if that means sacrificing parts of myself to do so. It’s the only way for me to evolve.”

Akira drifted back to reality then, suddenly regretting the fact he’d let the vulnerable moment slip away. He unconsciously touched Ryo’s face with the back of his pointer finger, pressing his hand to the soft skin of his cheek. He watched Ryo’s eyes again, noticing how the pupils slowly dilated, the dark centres obscuring that lovely blue.

“Ah.” Akira flinched away, suddenly realizing what he was doing.

“Ah.” Ryo held his cheek with his hand, his face becoming flushed.

“S-sorry! You had an eyelash on your face,” He lied.

“G-guess I should make a wish then?” Ryo laughed awkwardly, still holding his face.

"Y-yeah!"

"Then," Ryo closed his eyes, "I wish to find stability, and that the path I've chosen is the right one."

Even though Akira laughed, he felt strangely uneasy. Whatever had been between him and Ryo as kids was now gone- and like a butterfly sprouting from its cocoon, something entirely new had taken its place.

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> sorry this took so long!!! I had a really tough time coming up w ideas for this chapter @_@


	6. Ryo Breaks a Promise

Akira stood outside the Makimuras’ house fidgeting nervously with the lapels on his leather jacket. Ryo had texted him a few hours ago saying he wanted to go out and do something in the city today on his day off, but he hadn’t said exactly _what it was_ he had planned, so Akira was a nervous wreck. He spent forever toiling over what to wear and rehearsing in the mirror how he would greet Ryo when he arrives.

_Why am I so nervous?_

The question echoed in his mind all morning as he paced back and forth his bedroom floor.

 _It’s just Ryo, there’s no reason to get excited. He just wanted to see me on his day off, that’s all_.

Even though that’s what Akira kept telling himself, he couldn’t shake the feeling that this whole thing felt eerily similar to a date. He shook his head, trying to force the thought from his mind, nervously checking his watch again for the 50th time. He sighed, rubbing his eyes.

_What is wrong with you, Akira Fudo?_

The crunching of car tires on the pavement made Akira open his eyes again, catching an expensive-looking sports car pulling into the driveway beside him. Ryo rolled the window down and smiled from the car’s interior. 

“Well, are you coming? Or are you just planning on standing around in the driveway all day?”

Akira jumped and quickly scrambled to reach for the car door handle, feeling embarrassed. Ryo smiled at him again once he was inside- a mischievous smile as if he knew a secret nobody else knew but him. It made Akira feel uneasy.

“Why so jumpy today? It’s our day to relax, isn’t it?”

Ryo placed a manicured hand on Akira’s knee and he almost jumped out of his seat. He couldn’t stop thinking how pretty Ryo looked, his nails painted white and a hint of a sheer pink gloss glinted from his bottom lip. It made Akira’s head spin.

_Ryo didn’t dress up for me, did he?_

Ryo laughed and removed his hand, shifting slightly closer to him in his seat.

“So, aren’t you going to ask what I’ve planned for today?”

“Jeez, Ryo, even on your day off you still can’t relax huh?”

He laughed again, eyes glinting dangerously.

“Of course not, you know me.”

“So, what did you plan for today?” Akira finally managed to steady himself, meeting Ryo’s eyes.

He shrugged, “Well, I thought for once we should just do what normal teenagers do. You know, go window shopping, visit a cafe, see a movie. Make up for the lost time.”

Akira felt caught off-guard again. Every time he thought he knew what Ryo would do next, he did the complete opposite, flipping everything on his head.

“You? See a _movie_? Since _when_?”

“I don’t know, could be fun.” Ryo shrugged again, that sly smile still tugging at his lips.

“You like those kinds of things, don’t you Akira?”

Akira looked out the window at the darkening sky outside. “I don’t really care what we do, as long as we get to spend time together.” He meant the last part sincerely, and he missed Ryo’s flustered expression as he continued to watch cars pass outside.

“Hey, it’s getting kind of dark out, are you sure it’s not going to rain?”

* * *

The rain was coming down hard as Akira and Ryo huddled underneath the theatre’s veranda. Ryo looked miserable, his plans cut short by the sudden downpour.

“Damn you, weather.” He muttered, rubbing his bare arms with his hands in an attempt to keep warm. Without thinking, Akira pulled off his leather jacket and wrapped it around Ryo’s slender shoulders.

“You always got cold easily as a kid too. Looks like you never learnt your lesson.”

Ryo blushed, clutching onto the jacket.

“Yeah,” he mumbled.

“Sorry your plans got cut short. We can try this again, next time you have a day off.”

“Akira, about that.” Ryo faced him, eyes dark, his expression suddenly serious. “I’ve been meaning to tell you. I don’t think we’ll get a chance like this again.”

“What do you mean? A chance for what?”

Without warning Ryo laced his fingers around the back of Akira’s neck, pulling him down into a kiss. He had to stand on his tiptoes to reach, and Akira gasped as their lips touched, Ryo’s mouth feeling soft and slightly sticky from the lip gloss. It was a sweet kiss, gentle, like the touch of a butterfly, and Akira watched Ryo's eyelids flicker as he brought his hands to rest on his waist.

“Akira, I need to tell you-“ Ryo went to pull away but Akira pulled him back into the kiss, capturing his bottom lip gently between his teeth. Ryo sighed into the touch, his hands reaching up to cup the sides of his partner's face. They stood like that for a long time, the rain falling hard against the awning above them. Eventually, they parted again, Akira’s face flushed red, and Ryo’s pupils blown wide. They breathed quietly, mere inches apart, before Ryo pulled away fully, resting back to stand on the heels of his feet again.

“Akira, I’m leaving again soon.”

The news took the breath from Akira’s lungs, and he stared mutely down at his friend.

“My last show here is in a week. Then I’m moving to America.”

“America…?” Akira’s voice broke, and he felt tears threatening the corners of his eyes. He blinked hard.

“I just signed a new contract. I’m going to be world-famous, not just some Japanese pop idol. I’m going to be an actor.”

Akira shook his head, tears welling in his eyes.

“No, you said… you said you would stay.”

“I know. But I can’t let my feelings for you hold me back from advancing my career. I’m sorry.”

Tears ran freely down Akira’s face and he shook his head again, eyebrows knit together.

"No... no. We just- I mean I just- y-you can't do that. I was just starting to figure everything out."

“I want to spend my last week here with you as much as possible,” Ryo rambled on, “which is why I was hoping our date today would’ve gone well…”

“Date?” Akira’s voice broke and his body shook, tears racing down his cheeks.

Ryo gave him a pitying look, placing a cold hand on the side of his face. He reached up to kiss him again, tasting the saltwater of Akira’s tears on his lips.

“You’ll forgive me, right?”

The rain continued to pound on the pavement outside, and Akira turned from him and ran out from the veranda and headlong into the storm. 

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> ouch sorry gamers this ones a sad one


	7. Ryo Goes Swimming

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> This chapter is NSFW!! Continue with your own discretion

The air was tense between Ryo and Akira after that day in the rain. Akira had continued to visit his friend as usual, determined to make the most of the time they had left, but even still he couldn’t ignore the way his stomach twisted when he remembered what Ryo had told him.

_“My last show here is in a week.”_

It made sense of course- Ryo never stayed anywhere for long, and for Akira to convince himself that he would be staying permanently was entirely ridiculous. He was momentarily lost in nostalgia and fantasy, but he felt more grounded since hearing Ryo’s plans to leave. But being near him grew more painful with each day that passed.

On that particular day Ryo had invited Akira over late, and he admired the setting sun as his bike tore across the suburban streets towards the city. By the time Akira had arrived at the hotel, it was already a blue night, the full moon illuminating the cloudless sky. The elevator doors opened into that white, pristine hotel room as expected, and Ryo greeted Akira, wrapping his delicate arms around his neck and kissing his cheek.

“You smell nice,” he said offhandedly, running a hand over the front of Akira’s leather jacket.

Akira flushed. “Uh, thanks.”

He still found it difficult balancing this new dynamic between the two of them. Ryo was never very shy, often making colourful comments or kissing him without warning, but Akira was always cautious about displays of affection, almost as if he was afraid to screw something up or push Ryo away. Though he felt his cautiousness around the new territory was necessary in order to keep their relationship from boiling over, the fact was that Ryo was growing increasingly frustrated, the newly added time constraint pushing him to be bolder and bolder with his behaviour. Though he would never admit it, in reality, he was mainly just desperate to experience as much of Akira as he could before he slipped away again. Things he could keep to mull over in his mind years after they had taken place. He’d never come this close to anyone else in his life, he never let anyone else _know_ him like Akira did. and suspected he might not ever again.

“I want to go swimming,” Ryo said suddenly, hanging Akira’s jacket on one of the coatracks by the door.

“It’s nice out tonight. Summer’s final gift to us. And all this time I’ve spent here I’ve never gotten to use this pool.” Ryo gestured to the pool that lay outside the sliding glass doors to the apartment. 

“I thought you hated swimming?”

“Well, I know you don’t.”

Ryo started to walk towards the glass doors, already unbuttoning his shirt.

“Coming?”

Akira was about to ask about his swimsuit when Ryo stripped off his pants and tossed them against the marble floor. He then silently slipped out into the night, shutting the glass behind him, while Akira had to take a second to collect himself before he followed after him.

Ryo waded into the cool water, the blue pool lights reflecting a kaleidoscope of distorted shapes against his white, unblemished skin. Akira’s eyes greedily followed the line of his spine as he walked, following the dip and curve of his hips as they disappeared beneath the water. We swallowed hard and finished stripping off the rest of his clothes to follow after him. _Why does this feel like I’m walking into a trap?_

Ryo’s eyes were unmistakably hungry as he swam over to him, the ripples making Akira shiver. Ryo splashed him playfully, now close enough that their feet brushed against each other as they tread water.

“Come on, loosen up. Aren’t I supposed to be the stiff one?” Ryo was smiling but Akira’s face was dead serious- he couldn’t take his eyes off his slim body. It looked almost ethereal as the water shifted and distorted his features beneath the surface, the lights making his skin look as white as marble.

“you’re beautiful,” Akira mumbled, just barely above a whisper.

It was quiet, but Ryo still heard it, and his face fell as he swam closer, skin now red from embarrassment. He hesitantly placed his hand against Akira’s chest and leaned in, gently kissing him. Akira reciprocated, holding Ryo’s waist, still submerged beneath the water.

It was unclear who initiated it, but soon Akira’s tongue was in Ryo’s mouth, and they were battling fiercely, their pent up frustration pouring out through the way they feverishly kissed each other, all teeth and tongue and breathy panting and moaning. Ryo caught Akira’s lip between his teeth and bit hard, nearly drawing blood. He returned the favour by pushing his tongue fiercely against his partner’s, pressing and pulling until both were breathless and blushing.

After a while they slowly parted for breath, panting with flushed faces and swollen lips. Neither said anything, just watched how their faces appeared changed under the moonlight. Ryo shifted under the water slightly, now flush against Akira’s chest, feeling something hard pressing against his thigh. His eyes flashed and met Akira’s, who was bright red.

“I, uh- I-I can explain, Ryo,” he stammered, backing away to the pool’s edge. Ryo’s eyes were sharp, his expression devilish.

“It’s alright, it’s only natural. Let me help you.”

Akira continued to back away, his body meeting the hard edge of the pool. Ryo hovered close, his skin brushing against his erection under the water as he pinned him to the side of the pool, making Akira wince.

He was about to protest again when he stopped to take a good look at Ryo as he floated in front of him. His hair was a mess, blonde strands falling over his eyes. His face was still heated from their kiss, his lips red and swollen, slicked with saliva, and his nipples were perked up into little pink buds. His eyelids were heavy, and he recognized the same look of lust in them that he first saw during the photo shoot a little while ago.

He felt his cock stiffen between his legs, and, taking a deep breath, he slowly nodded. Ryo coaxed him up onto the lip of the pool, and he hissed as his swollen skin met the cool, empty night air. Ryo took no time in positioning himself between Akira’s legs, his hand gripping his length greedily.

“I was starting to think you didn’t find me attractive,” he said casually, slowly squeezing his hand up Akira’s shaft, eliciting a whimper.

“You shouldn’t have hidden this from me,” He said in a lowered voice, his breath tingling against Akira’s needy skin. 

Before Akira had time to protest, Ryo slid his cock head into his mouth, so slowly Akira wanted to scream. He didn’t mean to be so vocal, and if he weren’t so turned on he would’ve been immensely embarrassed. But in all fairness he’d had countless dreams of Ryo’s mouth against him, feeling the wet heat of the back of his throat, and now the real thing was almost too much to handle.

Ryo pushed Akira’s cock into the hollow of his cheek, looking up at him through white eyelashes as Akira shivered beneath him. His eyes smiled as he slid his length from his mouth slowly, before taking it in again until it hit the back of his throat. Akira’s mouth hung open helplessly as Ryo bobbed his head between his thighs, slowly touching himself beneath the water’s surface. He pulled his head back with a lewd pop, before taking Akira in his hands again, running his tongue flat against the slit. Akira threw his head back and moaned loudly, making Ryo smile playfully.

“I like having this control over you,” he mused, brushing his thumb back over that spot again, receiving another whimper from Akira, now oozing in his hands.

“You a-always have control over me. F-fuck” Akira felt embarrassment bubbling in his gut as he glanced down at his cock, now leaking messily into Ryo’s fist. He wished he wasn’t so submissive in that moment, that he could make Ryo feel good too, but he was totally limp, pleasure paralyzing him completely. It was then that Ryo let out a moan himself, and Akira noticed his hand moving beneath the water. Pulling himself together, he reached down and managed to drag Ryo out of the pool to lay on the stone beside him, his own arousal pressing urgently into his stomach.

“Figured me out then, huh?” Ryo sat up, a bead of pre-cum smearing against his stomach as he moved.

Akira’s head now totally blank, he leaned forward to kiss Ryo, momentarily distracting him so that he could grasp his length in his hand. He moaned into the kiss as Akira pumped his fist, first slowly, then quickly faster as Ryo’s cries increased at the friction. Ryo regained his own grip on Akira, and they started to touch each other in unison, their laboured breaths and whines deafening against the silent night air of the city below them.

“Akira, Akira,” Ryo whimpered, his eyes teary as he lolled his head back in pleasure.

Akira positioned him in his lap so he could touch both of them at the same time, sticky skin gliding deliciously together as Ryo started to cry.

Akira stopped, suddenly alarmed.

“What is it? What’s wrong, do you want me to stop?”

Ryo hid his face, breathing still ragged.

“No, I just… I’m happy, like this. With you. Touch me again.”

Akira resumed his hand and Ryo moaned into his shoulder, tears still pricking the corners of his eyes.

“I don’t want to leave you, Akira.”

Akira’s fist was moving fast now and Ryo was falling apart, his cock messy as he started to rut into his hand. He leaned forward to kiss him again, Akira’s hand still pumping quickly between them.

"You're so wet," he breathed, staring breathlessly up at Ryo's face. He looked angelic, lost in ecstasy and bliss, the moonlight creating a halo behind him as he tilted his head back in a moan.

Akira came without warning, thick ropes shooting up against Ryo’s chest as he shook from the release. He came as well shortly after, crying out as he held onto Akira’s neck, riding out the waves of pleasure, tears streaming down his face all the while. They sat like that for a while, panting and euphoric, before Ryo stood suddenly and quickly retreated back into the hotel room.


End file.
